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It's an untitled, work-in-progress, but I think this is a good way to get feedback from people. Enjoy.

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I'm just me. Very few days can be termed "adventures," but each day is an opportunity to grow, learn and love well.

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

18 and going nowhere...fast

I hate being eighteen. It's like being in limbo-- you're not an adult but you're not a kid anymore. You're expected to start fending for yourself, while at the same time giving your parents an intolerable amount of control.
So you go to college and you get to decide when you eat, what you eat, if you go to class, if you do your homework, what clubs you join. But your parents are undoubtedly calling or emailing you-- giving you the third degree about everything, who your friends are, what their parents do, etc etc etc.
You get sick and you're not seven...you can't stay home from school, your mom isn't going to make chicken soup for you. But you want to go out with a guy and your parents flip. They are determined to still get in a word about how you live your life.
You're in a hot air balloon, still tied to the ground, but having taken off the ground nonetheless. You're not going anywhere, and for every little decision you get to make for yourself, your parents manage to retain control anyway. Sure, you're glad they care but for once you either want to relinquish control entirely or you want to have it all. You want to either have them make your decisions or you want to make them and learn from your own mistakes...not have them tell you you're making one and keep you from growing, learning and becoming.

You say you want a job. They tell you you're overcommitting. You say you want to go to church back home. They tell you you're not breaking free from your past. You say you're bored in your classes, not enough to do... they tell you to get a job. And suddenly you're confused. You're frustrated. You're like the cartoon animal running on the rug...running hard, trying hard, working so hard, but the rug is just scrunching up behind you, and you're going nowhere fast.